New Blog!

I have a new blog to follow myself throughout prepping for my wedding! Check it out here!

xoxo
A

Picked My Dress!

Well, within one of the first 5 dresses I tried on I found my dress! I found the headband, the veil, the shoes, the dress, Mom's dress, and one of my MOH's dresses!!!! It was all so perfect! I had an amazing day with Corey and she was SO helpful! Funny story about the shoes...some other girl was sitting there waiting to for her friend/sister to look at dresses and I said I wished I had shoes to see what the dress looked like with me on heels. The girl goes, "Do you want me to get some?" I said sure, not specifying what kind or the heel height, and she comes back with an amazing pair--the pair I'm going to wear!!! They're beautiful and look great with the dress!

Colleen, one of my MOH, took pictures but her camera died and she left the cord that connects the camera to the computer at her apartment in Atlanta, GA. So I won't get them until next week sometime. The only negative aspect of the day was when I looked at the pics and realized how big my arms are. I know I've gained weight but my arms looked really big. I know the camera adds weight but I also know how much tighter shirts are for me. Ya, there is a decent amount of muscle under there but I also know you cannot see that muscle definition because of the fat on top. So I'm really determined to kick butt with the eating now and find my routine of healthy eating.

So here is the dress and you can click the "alternate view" to see the train. I really thought it was going to be too much and the bottom looked way too heavy but I ended up falling in love with it and Mom and Colleen both said that it was "the one!" The picture really does no justice to the dress, especially the bottom half. But it looks amazing!

Oh Stress, How I Loathe You

I hate stress and the fact that I stress out over the littlest things that shouldn't be stressful. Last night after I got home from the chiro and stopping at Dierbergs, more stuff was going on with this job that was offered to me by Dad's former employee. To sum it up, Dad played middle man and tried relaying info between this woman and me.

It was ridiculous. I was told by Dad to not call this woman back and to call the man who is the chef and owns the place where I was offered the job. Dad told me to call him between 4-6pm yesterday to set up an interview for TODAY! Whoa last minute information! (a) Mom, Colleen, and I are going to look at wedding dresses today. My friend has all mine pulled and we have an apt. with her at 11:30am (b) I have ZERO interview-type clothes. No wait, make that no dress clothes. I have a few sun dresses but that's it (c) my resume isn't even fully updated. So I was freaking out that I'd have to call someone (the woman or the chef) and explain everything and that I wasn't coming in for an interview after all this phone tag. Found out I didn't have to call anyone so I felt a little relived. I was just worried about Dad calling me and asking if I set up an interview and/or what was going on.

Luckily as of this morning he hasn't said anything. Of course, that's like my father to not say anything to me. We never talk. The only time he opens up and jokes and talks with me is when Jeff is around. I don't know why that relaxes him but it does. He doesn't not communicate with me because he's mean or a bad father, he just doesn't know how. He can communicate and talk to his patients at work really well, but when it comes to his own daughter, forget it.

Back to last night...so I started updating my resume and was struggling with parts of it and not sure what to put or was lacking info that I had to get from my mother about the work I do at their office. I also had to start looking for jobs online and I did find quite a few that are receptionist jobs with full benefits, paid vaca, and start around $14/hr! So I got excited and start telling Mom about them when she got home. Big mistake there. Being Negative Nancy she starts listing all the things that could be wrong with the jobs and that, "You better send that resume now! Those job positions won't stay open!", and is getting on my case about that. I just walked out of the room because I was getting so pissed off.

Needless to say, I was highly stressed out at this point and had consumed 6oz of white Merlot and a Clif chocolate chip bar that I didn't need to eat because I had already eaten dinner. I had a few other nibbles of "junk" food but nothing drastic. I called Jeff a bit later asking him if he wanted to go to Baskin Robbins and get some ice cream. I figured I'd just chalk up the day as one off day on my 21 day plan. If I *really* only have one off day in the 21 days, I highly doubt it'll hurt me.

So we got the ice cream but I only got one scoop of the no sugar added Turtle Truffle in a cup. I was kinda hungry by 11pm because the last time I ate was 4pm so I made a sandwich with Natural Hormel turkey meat, Healthy Life bread, fat free slice of cheese, and the end of some Baked Doritos. This all would have been good and God if I didn't wake up at 3:30am in back pain and go wandering into the kitchen while still half asleep! I got a strawberry milkshake pop tart (which I NEVER eat!) and cut a small piece of the chocolate iced brownie mom made. WTF?! A year or so ago I would get up in the middle of the night "hungry", or so I thought I was, and would eat junk food til I was stuffed! Thank goodness I broke myself of that habbit.

So that brings me to this morning. I don't think my belly is any bigger than usually with bloat from the processed foods last night, so that makes me feel better. Speaking of bloat, I totally forgot to talk about this...yesterday around 3pm my tummy blew up! I thought I had to go potty again but the more I took notice of how my body was really feeling, I started to think it was just bloat. And by 9pm I was sure it was because it was going away and I had gas LOL I did consume whey a few time yesterday and call me crazy, but I think I've noticed on the days I consume more whey, the more bloated I get!

So today I'm going to rest (the first time in like 2 weeks! Ugh!) and not consume any whey. I was kinda struggling making breakfast because I wanted to eat something that'll stick with me through out dress shopping but not make me feel too full. I ended up eating a Thomas Light english muffin with some peanut butter and a container of Dannon Light and Fit yogurt. I was going to do the muffin and some whey in my tea but I really want to figure out if the whey is to blame.

Now I have to get ready to go dress shopping!!! I may take my camera to get some pics and I may post them ;o) Have a great one!

Night Owl? More Like Nocturnal

Well I held down the fort yesterday with only a few small bites of the edge of the icing around my cookie cake. I left the rest of the square and just nibbled the icing :o) Hey, it was mine, I can do with it what I want! I ended up not eating most of my last meal (Chix Vegetable Rice) because I had zero appetite so I figured the cookie made up for some of that missed meal plus some.

I ended up reading before bed and was getting ready to go to sleep around 1:30am. My back was sore but not too awful so I figured I could get to sleep...which I did, until 4:30am. I've noticed for a few nights this has been happening. I go to bed around 1am and by 4:30 or 5:30am I'm wide awake in pain. So instead of tossing and turning trying to get comfortable, I sat up, took some pain pills, and decided to finish my book. The only position I was comfortable in was sitting Indian style and then lying my chest down over my lap. My chiro said this actually doesn't help the problem, it encourages it more because my disks are bulging when I sit like this. But he said if you're in that much pain and this is the only way you can get relief, then sit like that. So I did until I finished the book and the pills had fully kicked in which was around 6am.

So I went back to sleep knowing my alarm was going to go off in an hour. I was pissed. It went off at 7am and I reset it for 8am. I was supposed to get up early so I could workout and then go with Jeff out to a car place to have his RSX looked at...or something. He talks cars and I kinda zone out lol Kinda like when I talk about makeup, clothes, shoes, etc. So the alarm went back off at 8am, I got up, opened my blinds and stood there LOL I felt AWFUL. Drained, exhausted, sore, and crabby. I thought of working out and thought, "Oh hell no!" I had zero energy. I debated for 5 minutes if I should go back to bed, forgo going out to the car place with Jeff, and getting some sleep. Or, should I just suck it up, workout, and hope my workout was good despite my lack of energy and hope that I would be more energized after it. Usually I'll go with the later. But I felt so bad that I said screw it, closed up my blinds and drapes, and reset my alarm for 10:30am.

I felt MUCH better when I got up at 10:30am. Kinda groggy but much more energized. I ended up skipping my precardio meal and did it fasted. I felt a lot better going through the workout without food in my belly. I didn't feel things moving around and didn't look like I was 5 months pregnant when I was done. Usually I'm so bloated it's crazy and it doesn't go away til a few hours later. The workout was FANTASTIC!!!! The best I've had in quite awhile. I was PUMPED!

And now my back hurts like a bitch lol From working out? Nah. Just because I'm sitting in front of my computer putting all that stress on my spine. It feels great when I'm doing Tae Bo because the stiffness is getting worked out of the muscles and I'm limbered up when I'm done.

I haven't fully prepped meals for today but I have an idea of what I'm going to eat. I totally forgot about whipping up protein loaves to eat during the day and since my carbs are higher right now, I can get away with eating them often.

Time to lay down and ease some of this stress off my back. Make it a great day!

Prepping, Planning, Succedding

Found this quote and it reminded me of my debacle of people who get liposuction and don't change:

"Pity the man who inherits a million and isn't a millionaire.Here's what would be pitiful,if your income grew and you didn't." --Jim Rohn

So today is the first of my 21 days. The plan states not to double up on your workouts and to actually dial them down a bit. I figure I don't do anything else during the day (ie work, run errands, take care of kids) so instead of just sitting around online or reading, I can workout again. So this morning I'm doing Tae Bo (an ab-based one, so that dials the intensity down quite a bit) and upper body training this evening. In between those two I have a mani/pedi appointment so I can use the gift certificate Mom got me for my birthday.

Last night I planned out all my meals for today and I'm about to go prep for some of my meals now. I know one thing that helps me succeed all the way through the day is prepping, planning, and cooking meals ahead of time. I have the time to do it so I might as well. So tonight I'll prep for tomorrow even though I have nothing to do but workout.

Updates:

• All meals except M6 are prepped.
  
• Cardio consisted of Tae Bo Ab Bootcamp. Not much of a sweat breaker or pulse raiser but it did work the heck out of my abs! I don't think I'll consider a real cardio day. More on the borderline of strength training/pylos
• My father talked to the lady who offered me the job a few weeks ago. She already hired someone for the day shift but they still need someone for the evening shift which is 3-7pm. I'm really debating on this job because as nice as it would be to only work 4 hours a day M-Sat and have the whole day to myself, Jeff works 7am-4pm and I'd never see him. I could always come over after work around 8pm but he gets ready for bed at 10pm. We'd have zero time together and our Saturdays would suck. I think I'm going to mention to Mom tonight that I really do like her job and want to do it. She's going to hit the roof and tell me no but I won't know for sure until I ask, right? Right....I just have to remember that later tonight when I chicken out and don't want to ask her.
  

Celebrate!

Today we had my graduation/late birthday party. Mom got sub sandwiches, a cookie cake, and made some kind of cake with peach schnapps. I wasn't going to have any of it because I wanted to start the 21 days of Oxygen's dieting down plan today. But I knew if I denied myself some of it that I'd sneak out into the kitchen later tonight and splurge on it when everyone went to bed. Yes, I still feel guilty when I eat "unhealthy" foods or things people don't think I normally eat. Family members and friends know how much control (they called it craziness and over controlling) I used to have over my foods and they still are in shock when they see me eat anything most people don't consider healthy.

I hate that they still get this reaction because it makes me feel guilty whenever I eat food like that. I also feel guilty because I'm trying to lose BF and get control over my food choices again. I feel like I'm contradicting myself and being a hypocrite. I feel like I should be one way or the other, not somewhere in between. I know it's good to be in between and it's healthier to not be so over controlling of everything, but at the same time it's so hard to feel okay when eating out of my norm.

Anyways, the sub sandwiches had a TON of bread on them (really really thick bread) so I took off the top layer and ate it open faced. I had two 1 1/2 inch wedges but I took everything but the American cheese, turkey, lettuce, and tomato off. I don't eat ham, roast beef, or salami. Yuck! Then Mom bought another cookie cake (besides the one for my birthday 2 weeks ago) despite me telling her not to. I cut it up and I was vvv proud of myself for eating a small corner of it and that was it. I also had a tiny sliver of her peach schnapps cake. It was kinda boozy tasting...I still think Mom added more liqueur in it than it called for haha

So I'm pretty proud of how I ate. Not over controlling to where I'd binge later tonight but let myself enjoy what I had without giving into self control and eating more than what satisfied my taste buds. This past week I bought a bottle of white zinfandel for today but I know what alcohol does to your metabolism and I didn't feel like doing more damage than I did. I also knew that if I drank I'd eat A LOT more than I did.

Another reason to celebrate: I'm looking into a full time job. I was offered a position by a former employee of my father's who owns/runs a catering and specialty foods store with her boyfriend. It was about 4 weeks ago when she called me to offer it to me and at the time I thought, hell no! Now with actually having graduated and needing to find a job, I realize I should have been more open to it. I'm praying that she still has the position open and I'm going to tell her I didn't call her until now because I wasn't sure if I was really going to graduate because of the accounting II class--which was 100% true. I'm calling her tomorrow so please pray I get the job! I think she told me it's 40 hours a week--which is going to kill me for awhile. When I did part time work during the summer I was doing 24 hours max a week. My only concern is being able to stand that long...or sit for that matter. My back has been awful since graduation because of the hot shoes I wore LOL Hey, at least I looked cute at the time, right?

Now back to this whole 21 days thing. Lying in bed last night I got to thinking, you know, even if I do drop 10lbs in 21 days (like the plan guarantees--right, I'm not setting my expectations for that. Any loss is an accomplishment for me), what's the say that after those 21 days that my eating habits won't return to what they were prior to the 21 days? When I was at the end of my Tae Bo workout today, Billy said, "You have to change what's in here (pointing to himself), before you can change what's on the outside." It's so true. If I don't change my mindset about my eating habits and self control, how am I going to keep what has changed on the outside?

I've always wondered, these people that get liposuction....after they get it, how do they change their eating habits? At least when you've worked for the loss you know how much determination and self control it took and you're a changed person in the end. When you get liposuction or any other fat reduction surgery, you're mentality is still the same the day after surgery. Maybe these people can change their mindset after seeing the new them. Maybe I'm wrong assuming they can't change that easily. But I know that it's taken 3 or more years to finally realize that I have to change my inside before I can change my outside.

It takes 21 days to form a habit (or so "they" claim). Hopefully after these 21 days I'll have stepped out and changed part of my inside as well as my outside.

Now for the day:
CARDIO: ON
TRAINING: OFF
MEALS: ON with the exception of the celebrate food

Let's also hope that in 21 days I have a job! :o)

xoxo
A

Holy Bored!

So our electric went out 2 hours ago when a small thunderstorm moved through. Only 58 people don't have electric, which is less than our whole subdivision. Luckily I got my leg training in and ate my PWO meal before the lights went out. Now I'm wondering what I'm going to do for the rest of my meals. I had some Hormel natural turkey meat and some Genisoy soy crisps for my PPWO meal but I still need at least one more meal. I might spend the night at Jeff's if the electric doesn't come back on so I can always cook there. Funny how I used to love when the lights went out when I was little. Now its a huge pain.

It's Getting Closer!

Mom gave me the "okay" to start wedding dress shopping! We still don't have a permanent date set but thinking around 10/10/10. It is a Sunday but Sunday weddings are becoming more popular and they're cheaper. My good friend from high school currently works at David's Bridal so she had me send her my favorites and she's going to get them ready for me! My BFF and I are going in June 4th to look at them!

I'm more determined than ever to slim down. I'm down to 128.5lbs right now which was quite a jump down from the 130lbs I was holding this past Saturday. Works for me! I know wedding planning will become much less stressful, as will trying to drop BF, if I get it done with before the planning starts and before the wedding is near. I know how I handle myself under stressful situations (aka MU) and if I have myself under control by then I'll be in much better shape.

I figure one treat meal a week works for me. I don't crave sugar and junk like I used to a few months ago so I've gotten over that hurdle. Now it's just staying on plan when I'm pressed for time and/or could easily have something out instead of cooking a meal. I did great last night with planning though.

Last night was another hurdle for me...that I cleared! I knew around 5-5:30pm I was going to eat another meal and I was thinking a Subway turkey salad. Yes it's processed but it's low cal/low carb/ and Jeff can get something there also. Unfortunately Jeff wasn't hungry and didn't want Subway at the time and I knew it'd be faster if I went home, cooked something, and came back to his house instead of driving to Subway. So I went home and made a salad with baby tomatoes, almonds, and salmon for that meal and preped for M5 and made some ST-less pancakes. It all held me over and the day was good!

I've been rotating starches (ST) for a few days now and yesterday was my first 1ST day. I thought, from previous ST rotating experience, that it would be really hard. Especially coming off of a high ST diet. I was eating little to no veggies and lots of oatmeal, Kashi cereal, english muffins, low carb tortillas, and fiber bars for quite a few months. I've learned that I eat starches when I'm stressed or upset about things. I remember when I was on SOS and was doing the contest prep diet and had my first ST-less day. I thought I was going to die without oatmeal for breakfast! haha Now I can get through a ST-less day just fine with no cravings. I may crave STs but it's only because throwing a meal together with them is much easier than trying to get creative with protein and veggies or fruit.

I was getting sick of eating a chix breast with green beans a few nights ago so Jeff and I hit up Dierbergs last night and I got bags of mixed veggies. I can handle eating plan foods but I need some variety in the veggies. I've also learned to use Mrs. Dash's seasonings. Those things do wonders for chix and veggies! A little honey dijon mustard helps too ;o)

Time to run errands, make it a great one!

"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
–Dale Carnegie

Relief At Last!

I've been thinking about my blog for the past few days and realizing how forgetful I am. With the end of the school semester, I was stressed out about finals and about graduating. I can happily announce that I am an official alum of the University of Missouri-Columbia! Woo hoo! I was in tears after my accounting II final, which was the determinant in my graduating or not. I really thought I blew it, which I did...blew it out of the water in a good way! The final exam was my highest test score of the semester in there! WTF? Figure that one out! My money is on all the praying my family/friends and I did. Thank you Jesus!

The day of graduation I felt like a huge void was lifted off of me. It was amazing, the feeling I was experiencing. Six years of hell and stress gone. Just like that. After walking across that stage and shaking the hands and hugging my professors, relief! So I have to get a full time job now. WHO CARES?! So many people, including my fiance, have told me, "You're going to wish you were back in school after you get a job." Really? NO! I think not. I KNOW not. Yes, a job may stress you out, but not in the way the stress of school and not knowing if I was going to pass a class or when I was going to graduate stressed me out. My whole life was on hold because of one exam or one class. The night of my Accounting II final I couldn't sleep, tossed and turned, cried. What if I didn't pass the exam? That means I couldn't find a full time job, I couldn't start planning our wedding, and I couldn't even begin to fathom when we'd move out of our parent's homes for good. It was awful.

That being said, I feel like a new me. Actually, I feel like I got the old me back. The me who loved fitness and healthy eating. The me who worked out and ate healthy because I enjoyed it, not because I was trying to keep up or achieve something. I feel SO in control of my life. That's it--MU took the control of my life away. Sure I could study my butt off, but that never guaranteed that I'd pass. Exams have always, even since Elementary school, given me a hard time. Anyways, I'm happy now--everyday! I wake up and think, life is good! I have purpose! Ya, some days things go wrong but over all, life is good! For four years while at MU I never was able to wake up thinking that. I'd wake up and dread the day, knowing I was struggling.

So on my plate right now is to find a job. Full time, part time, doesn't matter to me or Mom. I'm considering taking over Mom's job but then again, applying at Juicy Couture sounds like fun. I swore I'd never work retail again but our Juicy store is in Plaza Frontenac which is a very upscale mall. You don't see the typical mall shopper in there, nor crowds. It's quite, peaceful, and upscale. Very chic and calm. I love it! Plus, I love Juicy....ok, no, I'm obsessed with Juicy. When I redid my room last summer I had a "Juicy" theme in mind: Victorian, pink, dark chocolate brown, and elegant. And I must say, it ended up pretty Juicy! I figure my Bachelor of Science in Textile & Apparel Management degree can't hurt when applying there either. I'm not looking to become a manager--I don't want that much responsibility. Just a sales associate is fine for now...until I figure out what I really want to do.

Speaking of working, I have to get going and head to Dad's office. Catching up on some computer work today. Then home for training.

Have a good one!
xoxo
A

One Week Til Graduation...OMG

I cannot believe that in one week I'll be graduating and finally have my degree. I'm slightly scared to enter the "real world" and get a big girl job. Actually, I just don't want to. The longest job I've held was 3 months during the summer and it was part time at the mall. It was hell. Never again will I work retail. I'd kill to work from home and not be bothered by people and being able to work on my own time would be a blessing. I have a hard time having people give me orders and telling me what time I have to work. I'm praying I get to take over my mother's job at my dad's office. She's getting too old for it and her methods are WAY outdated and inefficient. That or I'd be happy being a receptionist at a doctor's office.

This past weekend Jeff and I went to CoMo to get my tassel for graduation and we got my new computer! It's a graduation present but, shockingly, my parents didn't say anything after I set it up when we got home yesterday. I LOVE it!!! I'm definitely a Mac girl ;o) I love all the artsy fun stuff on it. PCs are too boring for me and they all look the same.

Anyways, we had an amazing time in Columbia! It was really good for our relationship. Since we no longer have a place of our own and are not able to have total alone time without anyone butting in, it was a great time to really focus on each other and us as a whole. Friday after we got there and checked in (our suite at the new Hampton Inn was fabulous!) we went downtown to Main Squeeze. It's this adorable natural foods cafe that has amazing food! I got a burrito with tofu, carrots, tahini sauce, spinach, cabbage, and green onions in it along with a vegan coconut chocolate chip cookie. Jeff got a fruit smoothie and a cookie. Little did we know when we went back to our hotel that they'd have free cookies sitting out. We took a few :o) I figured I've been dieting pretty well the past few weeks and this little treat would be good.

I used to be able to eat the burrito, cookie, and chips and salsa it came with. I got done with half the burrito and thought I was going to explode! I even got it without rice and extra veggies. I couldn't imagine eating it with rice also. I was very proud of myself for not eating the rest. I used to continue eating even after my stomach told me I was full. It was huge progress step for me.

We hung out in the room for a bit while Jeff closed the deal on his new Acura RSX he's getting and I read my book. Then we headed to the bookstore and got my tassel and my computer. We came back, set up my computer, and we played around in it for a bit. My back was really hurting and stiff from the drive up there despite having done Tae Bo that morning. It was really nice out so we took a 90 minute walk around campus. When we got back I had an itching for Gumby's pizza so we showered then headed out to get it. We used to get a large pizza and each eat half, which was about 4 slices each. We'd also get an order of Pokey Stix which are like cheesy bread sticks. We got those, too, this time. And again, we used to each eat half which was equal to the size of 4 slices of pizza. Fatty, carb laden foods? Oh yes. Was it worth it? Oh yes! lol

I got down 3 pieces of pizza and 2 regular size Pokey Stix and two small end pieces and thought I was going to explode again. How I used to eat so much I don't know. I was proud of myself for stopping once again. Needless to say when I woke up Saturday morning I felt awful! My stomach hurt so bad Friday night when we went to bed that I tossed and turned for a few hours and only got about 3 good hours of sleep.

Our hotel offered free breakfast in the morning so after I got online and checked my mail and made some coffee in the room, I went downstairs to see what they had. Luckily they had some very healthy choices of omelette's, English muffins, Yoplait fat free yogurt, Special K cereal, and oatmeal. I wanted to enjoy this weekend though and not worry about everything that went into my mouth so I got a bowl of Special K with skim milk, more coffee, some sort of strawberry crumb muffin, and a banana for Jeff.

After we got dressed and checked out we went to visit a former co-worker of Jeff's from the cycle shop he worked at in Columbia while we went to school there. He and his wife just had a baby two weeks ago so we went to visit. After there we went to find Mizzou Arena where I'll have my graduation ceremony on Sunday. We decided to get lunch before heading back home and I decided on Quizno's. I've eaten there once before with Jeff. It's so good but very high calorie and high fat. I got the same as before, the Tuscan Turkey. I knew I should have ordered it without the red peeper sauce because as much as I love peppers, they hate me. And this sandwich was rich to begin with and the sauce just made it worse....or better. However you want to look at it lol

Jeff drove the first hour home and thank goodness he did because I thought I was going to get sick. I had one too many carb laden meals within the past 24 hours and thought I was going to vomit. I was burping up the meal all the way home. By the time we got home it was time for another meal....if I would have been sticking to my normal food plan. But the last thing I wanted to think about was food. It was hard enough to drink water without feeling sick.

Of course that didn't stop me from saying "okay" to stopping at Spanky's Frozen Custard 5 hours later to get a sundae with hot fudge, caramel, and a mass amount of cookie dough. Again, I couldn't eat all of it and it was small to begin with. I really don't know how people eat fast food and unclean foods all the time.

Today I'm back to my normal eating routine and boy does it feel good! I never thought I'd be so happy to eat plain food. And now I know when we stay at Hampton Inn this up coming Saturday/Sunday I can get healthy, plain(er) food for breakfast on Sunday. I also know I can use their workout room on Sunday morning to work off my anxiety and stress before graduation Sunday afternoon. I saw a treadmill and an elliptical in there so I'll probably get up early Sunday morning to hop on the elliptical before getting ready for graduation.

Today I was going to do Tae Bo but I had an urge to get on the treadmill and do a run/walk workout. Warmed up for 3 minutes at a brisk walk then did 2 min jog/1 min walk 10x and cooled down for 4 minutes. My exercise induced asthma kicked in and I couldn't do more than jog but it felt good to get a different form of cardio in for a change.

Off to study for my accounting II exam on Wednesday. Wish me luck!!!

Another Bites The Dust

After my 4 weeks of getting towed under the wagon and gaining back 3 of the 6 pounds I lost, I'm finally make progress again! Down to 128.5lbs! Yesterday I weighed in at 129.5. I'm assuming some of what I gained was water weight. I can see and feel the gain and it's been bothering me and I was feeling like I was back at square one again and was just stuck there forever. When that number starts to move and I start to see and feel changes, I'm more motivated than ever!

This weekend is going to be tough to maintain those feelings though. We're going to Columbia Friday morning and coming home Saturday. But at least I can take a few bars with me to eat and since I lived in CoMo for 4 years I know what places I can go to for healthy food. There's a Subway and a great little natural foods cafe that has the most amazing veggie quesadillas! Our hotel offers a free breakfast the next morning and I think I'm going to use that as my treat meal instead of eating one on Sunday.

The foot is feeling better but still aches. Yesterday I did Tae Bo and I was surprised my foot wasn't really hurting afterwards. So on with Tae Bo today! I totally forgot about going to CoMo on Friday-Saturday and that those two days will be rest days and I ended up resting this past Sunday. So the plan for the week is Tae Bo Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and weights on Wednesday. All the Tae Bo this week will include the weighted resistance bands and that definitely does some work on my muscles so I'm not concerned with getting just one day of weight training in this week.

Don't Make a Mountain Out Of a Molehill

I was doing pretty good this week, not perfect but a step up from where I was before. Last night I took a tumble though. I think my hormones are still getting used to my new birth control and one tiny argument with my mother around 10pm just set me off. Yes, I am an emotional eater and my BFF, whom I normally vent to, was unavailable to talk at the time. One thing I must say, I'm very proud of myself for not turning to "junk" food. I did eat outside of my daily allotted amounts, but it was all natural food despite the two small bites of a cookie--which wasn't even appealing to me. I took that as a sign of stepping forward and away from the sugar addiction.

Today is simply upper body training. Yesterday was Tae Bo and my hamstring still gets quite sore when I sit with my leg fully extended in front of me (if sitting on the floor or bed) and if I sit indian-style too long. I'm not sure if rest will help or if that will cause it to get too stiff. My foot is also quite sore still and I don't want to push it too much, although my chiropractor told me that he wouldn't tell me to stop doing Tae Bo to let it heal because every time I put pressure on it or walk it's getting retorn and only time will help it heal. Plus, when doing Tae Bo it never hurts because I have great shoes on with my insoles and my wrap.

Recap of the day:

Training went well. I pushed myself further and lifted heavier. Lord knows when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be feeling it. Meals went pretty well. I'm trying to incorporate more veggies into my meals/day but ever since doing a 12 week show plan, despite my not doing a show, that was encouraged by my former trainer, I've been a little scared of veggies. I was living on broccoli/green beans/peppers/fish or chix for 12 weeks. That was a little over a year ago and I still cannot look at broccoli the same way.

Anyways, my macros were higher than I would have liked for the day but still in fat loss mode. And of course I couldn't get through the day without an awful food temptation, right? My father decided to whip up his cheesecake with strawberry preserves/jelly on top! Last time he made this I'd sneak out into the kitchen when everyone had gone to bed and eat a few spoonfuls of it. Unfortunately this continued every night until it was gone. Although I do know I didn't eat it all--my family has quite the sugar addiction. It seemed that every day that I continued to eat "just a few bites" I wanted more and more. I think a few curse words flew out of my mouth when I opened the fridge and saw it lol but I did leave it alone.

I just have to remember, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."

17 Days Out!

Things are going really well. I'm quite surprised how fast I kicked the sugar craving. I think going cold turkey really helped. And some really great news, my mother just offered to pay for the hotel and part of airfare if Jeff and I want to go to Vegas this summer! She said that since her and the rest of the family are taking three vacations this summer, and that I haven't had one in over 4 years, that it was only fair to send Jeff and I on one!!! Woo hoo! Jeff has gone to Vegas every summer for the past 4 or so years with his family but he's always wanted to take me. I think I'm more excited to see the hotel we'll be staying in than anything :o) I know mom loves to stay in really nice places and I know she wouldn't put me in anything less than that. Jeff's content to stay just about anywhere but as for me, who's stayed in nothing but very nice hotels growing up, I expect something a tad over the top.

I'm also excited for our trip to Columbia, MO next Friday. I'm going there to get my tassel for graduation and we miss CoMo so much that we want to make a day or two's trip of it. My mother asked if we were spending the night so I took that as her offer to pay for the room. Hopefully we'll be able to so we can spend more time there....and avoid the 2 1/2 hour trip there and back in the same day--yuck!

A little more *hopefully* good news: when I went to the chiropractor yesterday he noticed my wrapped up foot (from the Planter Fasciitis) and asked what was wrong. He told me he's seen many patients with that and after using the subluxation technique on their foot, like he does on my back to realign bones and muscles, it's gotten rid of their PF! So yesterday was my first go at it. Hopefully after a few more rounds my foot will be feeling better.

And on a hurt note...I did something to my right knee last night. I was kneeling down in front of the pantry to get out a Ziploc baggie and it popped and I got a really sharp pain through it. It pops quite often (its the knee I had Arthroscopic surgery on 5 years ago) and get stiff on occasion. I figured it was nothing to worry about until I got up to walk and it hurt really bad and felt like it was going to pop again. I'm not sure if I'll do a workout today because I want to make sure it, my hamstring (yes still bothering me) and my foot are near 100% before engaging in any crazy Tae Bo or lower body workouts. I may do upper body training today because it puts no stress on any of those injured parts.

Meals for yesterday were really good. I think I've finally broken the need to have something sweet around late afternoon/evening and after dinner. I still get high carb/sugar cravings in the evening but if I make tea or chew up it usually helps. Anyways, I haven't planned out my meals for the day but I will when I get home for class. Here's what I've had so far:

CARDIO: OFF
TRAINING: Undecided
MEALS: 20-135-94, WEEK 1

M1: low carb tortilla/EW/ff slice cheese/ketchup, coffee/stevia/almond milk
M2:

19 Days Out!

I'm happy to announce that yesterday went splendidly well! I did have a small piece of a chocolate chip cookie mom baked but considering how I was having 5-10 "little bites" of food throughout the day for the past 4 weeks, I'd say I broke that habit pretty well yesterday. Although my eating went over well, my sleep sucked. I started a book around 11pm and couldn't put it down until I finished....at 5am! I had to get up at 9:30am for class this morning but surprisingly it wasn't bad...until 20 minutes ago. I feel like someone drugged me and I want to crawl back into bed with one of the 6 books I just picked up from the library. Can you tell where my guilty pleasure is? Finishing a book in one day and possibly starting another :o)

Today I'm taking it easy on the workout front. My hamstring is feeling much better after yesterdays rest day but my foot is still really sore. I'm going to see my podiatrist again because I'm starting to worry it's something else. Even if I wear my insoles and wrap it, the minute I take it off it hurts. So anyways, today will be Jackie Warner's "Workout" dvd and I'll be doing the core/ab section. It's only 20 minutes but holy batman! This first time I did it I was so freakin' sore for 4 days after that I could barely laugh.

CARDIO: OFF
TRAINING: ON, ABS
MEALS: 20-135-94, Week 1

M1: TJ’s English muffin/pb, EW, ff shd cheese, coffee/stevia/almond milk
PreWO: Jamie Eason's carrot cake bars, BCAAs
TRAINING
PWO: (whey shake) BSN Syntha-6/stevia/Glut, BCAAs,,Jerky Sweet Potato Chips
M2: rice, zucchini, hoisin sauce, TJ’s chix strips
M3: (Rae’s PR waffles) cooked oats, BSN Syntha-6, vanilla, baking powder, EW, WF syrup

20 Days Out

Well today will be one of the "easier" days, haha like there are any while dieting, because I didn't get up until noon so I have to work all my macros into a much smaller amount of time. Am I complaining? Heck no! I'm also not complaining about having a rest day today. It's been a week and much over due. My sore hamstring and sore foot will enjoy it :o) I managed to pull my left hamstring last week during lower body training and it's been aching ever since. My back is also aching today, probably because I've been sitting or lying around ever since yesterday afternoon. And that's what I'll be doing more of today since I have to write my last Econ paper--thank you baby Jesus! I still cannot believe I'll officially graduate in 3 weeks to the day. Yikes! That means....something much scarier than trying to tackle this dieting plan for 3 weeks....it means getting a real job! Hmm maybe I should flunk accounting II again haha Kidding...although the idea isn't a bad one ;o)

Okay, time to stop screwing around and get this paper done. Here's a wrap up of the day and meals:

CARDIO: OFF
TRAINING: OFF
MEALS: 20-135-90/WEEK 1

M1: Hungry Girl's Oatmeal Raisin Softy (amazing, will post recipe later), TJ's English muffin/pb, EW/ff shredded cheese, coffee/almond milk/stevia
M2: Trader Joe's bag of shrimp stir fry
M3: long grain brown rice, TJ's chili lime chix strips, zucchini squash, hoisin sauce
M4: (Rae's Protein Waffles) oats, BSN Syntha-6, vanilla, baking powder, Walden Farms pancake syrup

Oxygen's 21 days/3 Weeks Plan

Starting today (4/26/09) I'm doing a 3 week/21 day plan to drop (roughly) 10 pounds which was featured in Oxygen's Spring 2009 issue. I got through two weeks of it in March and went from 133 to 126.5lbs but then fell off the wagon hard core for about 3 weeks and feel like I'm back at square one. During those three to four weeks I kept trying to get back on the wagon but my heart wasn't in it. I had no drive or desire to tackle a pretty fierce dieting down plan again.

I've used this past week to slowly get my act back together and starting today I'm tackling it again and I'm determined to hold out for the whole three weeks. I do have a goal in site this time which will be my graduation from Mizzou on May 17th!!! Finally! And my birthday is May 19th.

The three weeks are very tight when it comes to macros and numbers and allow no room for slip ups. I feel I have more support than ever from my fiance and friends right now which does help out. The only downfall is kicking this sugar habit I've formed over the past 3-4 weeks and my constant foot injury.

I'm beginning to think it's not Planter Fasciitis anymore and it's something else being over looked. I know PF is very come in people who do Tae Bo and one Tae Bo instructor I know was misdiagnosed with having PF when it was something more serious. So going back to see my podiatrist maybe be in the works or I may try to find a foot specialist....do they make those? lol

Time for bed and time to say adios to processed crapola for the next three weeks. I've come to realize what some of my downfalls are (any type of meal replacement bars, tiny bites of a cookie or even one piece of chocolate, and getting hungry because I stay up late reading then attempt to add whatever extra I've eaten into the next day's macros). Now to nix all those things and clean it up for 21 days! Let's go!

I know it's been quite some time since I've posted. I kinda fell off the posting wagon and totally forgot about my blog. Some good news though: I'm down 6.5 lbs and I'm sitting at 127 right now. I'm not sure what "number" I want to be at, I'm just more concerned with having a healthy body fat percent, eating healthy most of the time, and living a healthy lifestyle.

Shockingly enough, I've maintained my weight despite having multiple "off" days filled with pizza, cinnamon sticks from Domino's, Krispy Kreme, wine, and this amazing little thing from Applebee's called a Dessert Shooter. PS, the strawberry cheesecake one is to die for! I've found it quite ironic that despite not gaining any "weight" during these past two weeks and being able to eat crap, I feel like crap. Jeff and I were trying to decide what to get for dinner last night and he left the choice up to me. I thought about getting pizza but it just didn't appeal to me. I'm kinda sick of it. I know, crazy right?! Although that didn't stop me from having a piece of pecan pie for breakfast this morning lol It was the last piece left and I thought, to hell with it, and ate it. Wow was it good!

I thought about allowing myself to intuitively eat the rest of the day and have something like a sandwich made with deli turkey meat and processed white bread for lunch, but it just sounds kinda icky. Plus I know how it'll make my tummy feel. Of course that feeling can't be any worse than it was last night after I ate like 7 pieces of sugar free candy. OMG. I literally thought my intestines were going to explode. It hurt so bad! I knew it would bother me from the get go, but I didn't think that much! You couldn't get me to touch that stuff with a 10 foot pole now.

I haven't decided how I'm going to eat the rest of the day, probably pretty clean but nothing too anal. My tummy is still kinda upset from the sugar alcohols last night so I'm sticking with bland foods today.

Time to get out of bed (been laying in bed reading all morning and afternoon), showered, and ready to go run some errands.

It's been quite some time since I posted and I totally forgot about my blog for awhile...funny, since I have so much free time that is spent sitting online (aka Facebook). For an update:

Got my spinal injections last Monday. Was quite sore that day because she stuck me four times with the needles instead of twice. Normally she has me lay on my stomach on the operating table and puts this thing that looks like a HUGE crocheting needle on my spine. It's some type of x-ray camera and when she lays it on my back I can look up at the monitor in front of me and see my spine! It's like a live x-ray--very cool! Next she cleans my back off with alcohol and then she takes a permanent marker and dots where she wants to insert the numbing needle on the right side of my spine (around the L5 area). Then she sticks me with the numbing needle. It honestly doesn't hurt and feels the same as if you were to take a safety pin and just poke your arm. She leaves that needle in there and then injections the numbing medicine. I don't know if it's a syringe with the needle attached or how she shoot it in there. But after that goes in she injects the actual medicine. The only part I can really feel is the numbing medicine go in because it feels like it's hitting a bone and the feeling of the bone being hit is like when you hit your funny bone. Kinda funky. Then she repeats the whole procedure on the left side of my L5.

Now usually this is how it goes. But this past time she was putting it in a new area of my back (to see if it would work better than previous injection sites) and the numbing needle ended up in a very tight muscle both times she did it on each side. I could still feel it even after she numbed it so she had to remove it and start all over again. So needless to say, I was a tad bit sorer this time and I still have the bruises.

So Monday was spent lying down all day, sleeping, and icing my back on and off every hour. The steroid pack gave me awful headaches and made me very tired. Tuesday consisted of driving 30 min. to and from the dentist (which was not helpful on my healing back) and more resting/sleeping. Wednesday I had to go to two classes but luckily after I finished my Accounting II exam in my evening class I got to go home. The teacher was still going to teach a lesson after the exam but I couldn't sit there any longer than the 60 minutes it took to take the exam. Thursday I was feeling better and getting very antsy from not working out since Sunday so I hoped on the treadmill for 50 minutes. I cranked it up to the highest incline and walked at a pretty decent pace for 50 minutes. Friday I rested and drove out to my dad's office to catch up on some computer work that I do there. I was able to sit for roughly 3 hours and was just about pain free! Saturday I had a massage schedule and it really helped with loosing me up and she worked specifically on my glutes to help the siatica pain.

Sunday ended my rest week and I got in a good Tae Bo session. Today was another Tae Bo workout. So far the past two days I've been about 90% better than before the injections. I was a little sore today while lying in bed this evening but nothing like the normal pain I was having. Tomorrow will really be a test because I'm working at the office for 4 hours which consists of mostly sitting.

Now for a "diet" update: I knew I was going to do Lent this year and was going to vow to "give up" all those little nibbles I have during the day that sometimes turn into bigger nibbles. So last Monday and Tuesday was kinda rough since I knew come Wednesday I'd be saying "buh bye" to those foods. I do feel I have much more control over what I am eating and resisting my cravings now that I'm focusing that energy on religion. I don't know if that really makes sense...what my goal is for Lent is to channel my cravings and temptations into time spent with Jesus. When I get those temptations and think about how hard it is to give those things up, I realize what Jesus gave up for me and how tempted He must have been to run and not be crucified. I am also getting daily email devotionals which help me focus on a certain topic for each day.

Now I'm going to make myself look like a hypocrit and tell you about today....I've been dealing with some serious GI issues the past three weeks. Every afternoon I've been blowing up like a balloon and look 5 months preggers and I cannot figure out why. I feel very heavy and full yet I don't have to go to the bathroom (sorry if TMI but I'm trying to figure this out). Today was by far one of the worst days. My gut feels hard and sometimes hurts. I haven't changed anything in my diet to cause this. And the fact that this has been going on for three weeks helps me rule out PMS. So today after I ate my pre-training meal and the bloat got really bad, I felt so awful that I decided to just spend the rest of the afternoon laying in bed watching TV. It hasn't gotten any better and still kinda hurts. I know it's not constipation because I'm going my normal amount.

I went through something like this where I wasn't going at all for days on end in 2004 but after I went through tests and saw an IBS specialist, we concluded that the IBS-like symptoms I was having were from a vasospasim medicine I was on! It mocked IBS symptoms! How crazy is that!? I'm not on any meds now besides my normal acetomenophen with codeine which I've been taking for 2 years. So I'm at a loss of what is going on right now but it's very uncomfortable and it restricts me from wearing anything form fitting.

So that's a wrap up of what's been going on. I'll try my best to update more often :o)

It Keeps On Getting Better!

Last night I had a stress breakdown. It was 7:30pm, an hour after I ate my fifth meal, I had a headache, I was hungry, I had an econ paper to research and write, and I just realized that I did not have enough time on Tuesday to do office work with Mom, get my hair done at 1pm, write and research the paper, and be done with all of this by 5:30pm when Jeff would come over. I was flipping out and was ready to clean out the pantry of freshly baked (and still warm!) Toll House Valentine's Day cookies Mom just made and eat the whole bag of baked Doritos.

I decided to eat an Amy's Tofu Scramble pocket to curb the hunger pains and help with the carb craving. Unfortunately, it didn't do the trick and I was still stressing out. I had two Toll House cookies and a Fiber One bar. I figured the Fiber One bar was sweet, carby, and still semi-healthy. I was ready to dive into my third cookie when I stopped in my tracks and asked myself, "Will you feel any better after you swallow that last bite of cookie? Will this third cookie or any other food make the stress go away?" Nope! I'll just be more stressed out and unhappy if I continue with eating my stress away.

Luckily by this time it was 9pm and I was heading to bed soon so I figured out what damage I had done and was shocked to find I only sucked down 1700 calories for the day. My carbs were much higher than the low carb number I was shooting for, but I didn't do that much damage. I then proceeded to figure out what Saturday would look like with going to Bread Co. I plugged in all my meals for the day, including Bread Co., and was happy to find that I'd be sitting around 1530 calories. Amazing! I could eat at Bread Co. and do less damage than I did eating two cookies, a Fiber One bar, and the tofu scramble! haha So then I figured out that even with my stress out fix on Monday plus Saturday's extra amount and if I stick to my lower carb plans for the rest of the week (like planned), I'll be averaging a very nice caloric amount for the whole week! Still in BF loss mode! Yay!

And speaking of BF loss...down another pound today! I'm not exactly on track with where I'd like to be in the 12 week plan, but I'm heading in the right direction and I have to work with where I am, not where I think I should be. If I sit here and worry about, "Omg, I should be at XXX weight this week and I'm not!", I'm just going to self sabotage myself and create a freaking out, may as well give up mindset. And I have done that far too many times before and I'm going to step out and prevent myself from doing it again.

And more good news, went to the spinal doc yesterday. I told her about my Siatica bothering me and she asked if I felt any numbness or tingling in my legs or feet. I said no (thank you baby Jesus!) and she was relieved to hear that. She said my options were: live with the pain (we both said no thank you to this!), take anti-inflamatories (which I've done and don't do a thing), go back to physical therapy (which has helped but not as much as the injections), or do another round of injections in a different spot. I opted for the injections again. I have an apt. set up for Feb. 23rd at 9:20am to get them.

Only problem is, I have an Econ exam that afternoon and per her orders, I cannot sit more than 30 minutes that day (plus I'm in too much pain from them to sit that long) and I have to ice it 15 min. on and 15 min. off the whole day. I have to talk to my Econ professor tomorrow to see if he'll let me take the exam prior to or after the scheduled date. He's a very nice guy so I'm thinking that he'll let me do that. Otherwise I can either (a) make sure I get done in 30 minutes (I usually cannot focus on any exam more than this amount of time anyways lol), walk around after 30 minutes, press through the 30 minutes of sitting, or reschedule my injection apt.

Rescheduling is going to be a pain if I have to resort to that because it's hard to get an injection apt. with my doc. She only does it certain days of the week at certain times and at the certain location I want to see her at. Plus, I have to have Mom go with me because I am not allowed to drive home. Why I can't, idk. I'm a little sore immediately after but worse as the day goes on.

I could also press through the 30 min. of sitting because last time I got the injections, Jeff and I had to drive back to Columbia, MO that same day. That's a 2 1/2 hour drive. We always stopped at a gas station (because I pee like every hour with the amount of water I consume lol) after an hour so I sat a full 60 minutes twice that day and I lived :o) But I'm still going to ask my prof. if I can take it a different day just so I don't have to worry about all that sitting.

Plans for today:
CARDIO: Tae Bo Core Express with the Amped bar--done!
TRAINING: OFF
MEALS: low carbing it

HOLY Carbs Batman!!!

I knew the carb/calorie amount was vvv high in the sourdough soup bread bowl from Panera Bread, but I forgot they were this high!!!! I used to eat those with the chix noodle soup every day like 7 years ago. I had no idea about proper nurition and nutrition information then. So I haven't had one of these in about 6 years and Jeff and I thought, what a good place to go for Valentine's Day dinner! It won't be crowded, we won't have to dress up (thank goodness he thinks I still look hot--his words, not mine--in jeans and a white t-shirt), and it won't be expensive. I was going to cook something for us but how romantic is it to sit and eat at home with the whole family here?! Well, not like Bread Co. is that much more romantic but at least it'll be more quiet than my house haha

Okay, so here are the facts on that God awful, but SO good, bread bowl:

590 Calories
2.5g Fat (just lovely if you're going for the "fat free" diet haha)
117g Carbs
4g Fiber
22g Protein (in bread! who knew?!)

Now for the chix noodle soup:

100 Calories
2g Fat
16g Carbs
1g Fiber
6g Protein

Now how many poor people are out there sucking these down left and right like I was, when they have no idea they're eating so many calories and carbs!? At least there is a good amount of protein in it, I'll give Bread Co. that. But it's going to be my Valentine's Day/Carb Up/Treat Meal of the week so I'm going to enjoy the heck outta it! Now to stay on, on, on my macros the rest of this week :o) I can do it, no fear!

Another early Monday, but today I get to skip school...to go to the back doctor's. I don't know if that will be worth it. I'm kinda worried about what she's going to tell me. Either more injections (in a different spot) or who knows what? She said originally she never saw anything that needed surgery so that makes me hopeful that she won't suggest it now. The only issue with injections is that they make me hurt so bad afterward for a day or two. That and last time she put me on the steroid pack right after so I didn't hurt as bad after the injections (which did help I think), but they made me so sick to my stomach that just looking at food made me want to vomit. They also made me very tired/lethargic and uber bitchy! Talk about an extra week of PMS throughout the month! haha So we'll see what she says at 1:15pm.

Eats were GREAT yesterday. I started rotating carbs yesterday and I'll do 5 days of lower carbs then carb up two days a week (one of which will be Valentine's Day--which will be higher than the carb amount I'm aiming for but it's V-Day!). My fear was that I was going to be hungry and want more carbs yesterday but I was very content with all my meals and only got hungry after breakfast, before church. I think I'm going to start eating oatmeal with pp for breakfast on Sunday's because egg whites with a Thomas Light English muffin just is not sticking with me for 3-4 hours. By the time I eat, shower, get ready, go to church, and get home, it's been 4 hours. So next week we'll try oatmeal.

Today's eats are all planned and carbs are right where they should be. I need to get my protein levels up some because my calories are a tad too low. Today's plan is just cardio but I had to switch up this week with next week. I was going to do the whole Boot Camp Elite series this week but since both sets of my Tae Bo bands broke last week I have to do the Amped series this week with the Amped bar. I ordered a new set of bands last week on Friday so hopefully they'll be here by this Friday! I'm so sad that they don't make the original black bands that came with the original Boot Camp series :o( I like them better than the newer red swivel bands that have the included 1lb hand weights. The black one's seemed to last much longer. Oh well, at least I'll have a set!

Meals for the day:
Pre-Cardio: corn thins, cashew butter; BCAAs; Glut./tea
CARDIO
Post-Cardio: whey, WF choc syrup, stevia; 1 ser. HG’s Big Apple French Toast
M1: Oxygen’s PB Fudge bar
M2: Thomas Light Eng Muffin, EW, ff slice cheese; Blue Bunny NSA yogurt
M3: Atkins p-cake mix, EW, NSA applesauce, WF p-cake syrup
M4: EW, BSN LD, Splenda Granular

I whipped up the Hungry Girl's Big Apple French Toast yesterday and it is very good!!!! Here's the recipe. PS, I highly recommend her book of recipes but be sure to still check out the recipes on her site because not all of them are in the book and vise versa. Also, when I made it my macros came out a bit lower, which = yay! more food for less calories!:

The Big Apple French Toast Casserole

PER SERVING (one 4-inch square, about 1 cup): 204 calories, 4.25g fat, 577mg sodium, 30g carbs, 6g fiber, 8.5g sugars, 16.5g protein -- POINTS® value 4*

AHHHHHHHHHHH! Is it breakfast or dessert? This decadent morning-meal recipe is SO easy and ridiculously delicious. PLEASE make it ASAP. You'll FLIP!

Ingredients:
8 slices light bread (40 - 45 calories each with around 2g fiber per slice), cut into cubes
4 oz. fat-free cream cheese, room temperature
1 medium apple (preferably Fuji), peeled and diced
1 1/4 cups light vanilla soymilk
1 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute (like Egg Beaters Original)
2 tbsp. sugar-free pancake syrup
2 tbsp. light whipped butter or light buttery spread (like Brummel & Brown), melted
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 no-calorie sweetener packet (like Splenda), or more to taste
Optional: additional sugar-free pancake syrup, for dipping

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray an 8-inch by 8-inch baking dish with nonstick spray. Place bread cubes evenly along the bottom of the dish.

Sprinkle diced apple evenly over the bread.

In a medium-large bowl, combine all other ingredients (cream cheese, soymilk, egg substitute, syrup, butter, cinnamon, and sweetener). If you like your French toast pretty sweet, add an extra packet of sweetener. Using a handheld electric mixer set to medium speed, mix until lump-free and smooth. Pour mixture over the bread and apple.

Make sure bread is soaked in the liquid mixture. If needed, toss lightly to coat.

Bake in the oven for about 45 minutes, until egg mixture is pretty firm and cooked through. (Be sure not to overcook, as bread may burn.) Let cool slightly and cut into quarters. If you like, serve with additional syrup for dipping. Dig in!

MAKES 4 SERVINGS

And here is the Oxygen Peanut Butter Bar recipe (sorry if I already posted, I don't remember):

Oxygen’s Peanut Butter Fudge Bars

Serves 4

INGREDIENTS:
120g BSN Lean Dessert chocolate protein powder
1.3oz flax meal
42g peanut butter
1/4 cup water (add more if needed)
Stevia or Splenda to taste

DIRECTIONS:

• Mix all ingredients in large bowl and stir. Add 1TB of water at a time, if needed.
• Cut 4 pieces of saran wrap or snack size plastic baggies. Spoon ~74g onto/in each piece of wrapping. Shape them once they are sealed up.
• Store the bars in the fridge or freezer. You can eat them chilled, frozen, or even right out of the bowl.

NUTRITIONAL INFO:
(per 296g total weight; 74g each piece)

214 CALS
11.4g FAT
10.8g CARBS
22g PR

And I made some "Cutting" Bars that are amazing!!!! I've used BSN Lean Dessert chocolate flavor before and this time I used Beverly International Ultimate Muscle Protein Cookie & Creams flavor which was great as well:

"Cutting" Bars
Serves 12

Combine in large (Make sure it's very large! I had to change bowls and talk about a gooey mess!) bowl:

8 scoops whey
8oz dry (not instant) oats-can grind into a flour-like mixture if want
1 package (large box) Sugar Free Fat Free Instant Pudding mix (any flavor is good, I use the flavor that will go well with my pp)
18oz unsweetened soy or almond milk
2 cups water (this is optional. I found I had to add it because my batter wasn't wet enough)

Mix until a sticky batter is formed (may take a few minutes). Use a large spoon to spread out the mixture into the bottom of a PAM-sprayed glass or metal casserole dish. I like to use a 4 quart oblong one) and spread til even. Put in the fridge or freezer overnight and cut into 12 equal bars. I then took each bar out and wrapped it individually in saran wrap and put them all in a freezer bag--takes up much less space and they're ready to grab 'n go when needed.

MACROS per bar (will differ depending on the type of pp you use):
177 Calories
3.6g Fat
20g Carbs
16.5g Protein

TGIF!

TGIF! Not like I really had a lot on my plate this week anyways ;o) Although I do have a 3 page Econ paper to write this Sunday. That's bound to be super fun! Not much going on right now or this weekend. Things are going good, eating is good, clothes are fitting very nicely and looser :o) Even though two of my days were off this week because I ended up not being able to sleep and had an extra meal each night, I figured out what my macros should be for the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday so I can keep my total average for the week in "body fat loss" mode! Yay!

Instead of going out to dinner for our date night on Saturday I'm making Chix Parmesan for us and for the family. Mom raves over it and I haven't made it this week yet (yes, she likes it at least once a week--what kind of monster have I created?! haha) and Jeff has yet to try it. Also, when I asked for his request for Saturday he said chix and some kind of pasta, so Chix Paremesan it is! It's a very quick and easy recipe to fix.

Here's the recipe:

Chicken Parmesan

Serves 2

6oz chix
4oz No sugar added pasta sauce (Rague Light Tomato & Basil is great)
3oz Kraft Fat Free Shredded Mozzarella cheese
0.6oz Kraft Reduced Fat Parmesan Cheese topping
2oz pasta (weigh dry) (Annie Chun’s Soba Noodles are good)

Cook pasta according to directions.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Spray skillet with PAM and brown chix. When done take it out of the pan and place chix in baking dish.

Spoon pasta sauce over chix. Then top with mozzarella cheese.

Sprinkle parmesan cheese on top.

Put into oven for about 25 min. It’s done when cheese is melted.

Spoon on top of the pasta and serve.

MACROS per serving:
Calories 296
PR 37.3
Carbs 28.6
F 3.1


Today's plan consists of Tae Bo early this AM then training this early afternoon so I'll be done with everything by 2pm for my massage. I have a massage with the lady who used to work at the chiropracters so hopefully she'll be able to give me somewhat of an adjustment and loosen me up like she did last time.


2/6/09: CARDIO, TRAINING; LOW
Pre-Cardio: corn thins, cashew macadamia pb, BCAAs, Glut
CARDIO
Post-Cardio/PreWO: wey, WF choc syrup, stevia, coffee, Glut; Genie’s Apple Loaf; BCAAs
TRAINING
PWO: whey, stevia, Glut.; sweet potato
M1: (HG’s Chix Lo Mein) 1 bag tofu noodles, chix, snow peas, carrots, cornstarch, soy sauce, Splenda pkt, chix broth
M2: Thomas Light Eng Muffin, EW, ff slice cheese, Bluebunny NSA yogurt
M3: EW, BSN LD, almonds, Splenda Granular

Is a Treat Meal Really a "Treat"?

I decided (yes, I actually thought before I acted) to let myself have a treat meal mid-week. I had a turkey sandwich with a slice of fat free cheese, some baked Doritos, and a pop-tart. My little brother has Strawberry Milkshake ones and they are to DIE for! Heck, any pop-tart, fresh or stale, is gold in my book! haha

I finished eating about 15 min. ago and my tummy is in the process of blowing up like balloon! I cannot believe how touchy I'm getting to processed foods. I also feel kinda sick to my stomach and I'm really regretting eating that before bed. I need to go lay down and get to sleep within the next hour and I feel awful! I hear TUMS calling my name.

The reason I let myself have this treat meal mid-week instead of on my usual Saturday night is that I was so happy and proud of the progress and fat loss I have made so far. I'm kinda shocked that I'm losing BF considering how off my eats were last week. I know what caloric range I need to eat at to drop BF and I was probably hovering right around that number last week but I'm still shocked I'm seeing changes--a good shock that is! ;o)

Off to bed to get rested for two classes tomorrow and training in between!

Another early day and early workout! Just finished my corn thins with cinnamon raisin peanut butter--yummy! I'm trying to figure out why I woke up bloated like a fish?? My belly looks like I sucked down a bag of candy with sugar alcohols! WTH is with that?? It feels all full of air and gas moving around too. I've come to realize that if anything weird could possibly happen to my body, it will haha

Today consists of nothing too exciting: Tae Bo workout, shower/get ready, go to Jeff's to pick up a book I'm taking to the post office for him, going to the post office, then home to do more office work with Mom. Jeff's coming over this evening and I'm making Caribbean Rum Chix with Asparagus Parmesan. I've made the chix reicpe before and it's quite good. The asparaugs is a new recipe but I always love me some asparaugs so I'm sure it'll be good. I'm also whipping up some peanut butter fudge protein bars this morning. I've noticed that since this pb recall has grown, I've been eating more pb haha

Meals for the day:
Pre-Cardio: corn thins, cinn raisin pb, BCAAs, coffee/almond milk/stevia, Glut.
CARDIO
Post-Cardio: Essen Nutri whey, WF choc syrup, stevia, Glut, BCAAs
M1: instant oats, EW, BSN LD, stevia
M2: Thomas Light English Muffin, EW, ff slice cheese, Blue Bunny yogurt
M3: Caribbean Rum Chix, Asparagus Parmesan, sf fudgesicle
M4: Peanut Butter Fudge bar
? M5: BSN LD, EW, Splenda Granular

CARDIO: ON- doing the original BootCamp series this week
TRAINING: OFF
MEALS: Low

The Early Bird Catches The Worm

I decided to try something new this week. I decided to get up at 6am so I could get a Tae Bo session in before Econ class at 12:30pm and then I can still get a training session in when I come home after class. I get up at 6am for church on Sunday's and I am a super morning person (especially early AM), so I thought, why not use that time? The only time I'm not a morning person is when I get little sleep. But I'm still taking the 5-HTP along with two Melatonin about an hour before bed and I'm sleeping like a baby!

The cardio session today was fabulous! I did Fat Blasting Cardio that uses the black bands (the first ever Tae Bo dvd I did!) and it was a kick butt workout! Super high energy and felt great! I think having a very light pre-cardio meal really helped out too. Instead of having something like oatmeal with pp or an English muffin with eggwhites and cheese, I had some corn thins and peanut butter. Yes, I'm still sucking down pb and pb prodcuts despite the recalls. All my products are (so far!) okay and I've been eating out of the same pb jar for about 6 months and I'm not sick yet haha But I am convinced a very light meal pre-cardio helps because I don't feel full or "weighed down" by a heavier gut feeling and I don't burp it up (I get heartburn very easily during cardio if I don't watch what I eat).

It's a good thing I did my cardio this AM because this afternoon my Planter Fasciitis is acting up again. I've been wearing my wrap for the past two days and worn my good New Balance's most of the day yesterday. I called my podiatrist this afternoon to get a new wrap because mine's getting gross from wearing it during workouts and the nurse said he may want to see me again since it's still bothering me--ugh. I feel like I spend so much time at all these doctor's! Watch him tell me that I need cortisone injections in my foot. Lord please no! Getting them in my spine is fine because she numbs me first, but for foot ones they don't numb you and I heard those suckers hurt! Although I think I'd take that pain before stopping Tae Bo for awhile while it heals. I'll take the pain of a shot before I'll quit Tae Bo! ;o)

I just finished my preWO meal of Genie's Apple Loaf (you can find the recipe on her blog: Third Wish) and some whey. I have to say, I was very reluctant to try her loaf because it has no pp in it, just EW. Every loaf I've ever made has had pp in it and I thought it was going to taste very eggy but it's quite good! Very filling! I'm making more of them tonight to keep on hand thoughout the week.

Let's see...I think that's it for now. Meals for yesterday and today have been ON. It really helps planning meals the day before. I'm so Type A anyways that I love schedules and plans so I don't mind it. I actually find it quite comforting to have my meals all planned out so I don't have to wing it throughout the day or come to realize at 7pm that I've used all my macros up for the day.

Wrap up for the day:
CARDIO: ON
TRAINING: ON- FB
MEALS: ON-MEDIUM

Pre-Cardio: corn thins, pb, BCAAs, coffee/almond milk/stevia/Glut.
CARDIO
Post-Cardio: (whey shake) Essen Nutri whey, Glut, WF choc syrup, stevia
M1: 1/2 Pure Protein Choc PB bar (didn't realize it had pb in it til right after I swallowed the last bite lol)
PreWO: Genie’s Apple Loaf, BCAAs, Essen Nutri whey, Glut
TRAINING
PWO: sweet potato, (whey shake) Essen Nutri whey, WF choc syrup
M2: (HG’s Chix Lo Mein) 1 bag tofu noodles, 3oz chix, 85g snow peas, 4.5oz carrots, 3/4 tsp cornstarch, 1TB soy sauce, Splenda pkt, 1/8c chix broth; sf fudgesicle
M3: (whey cake) BSN LD, EW, almonds, Splenda Granular

Patience Is A Lost Virtue

While getting my daily AM dose of Facebook time in, I came across a note written by my crazy fitness friend Nicole (love ya!). She made a statement that really hit home and I loved it so much that I had to copy and paste it: "I try to remember one meal at a time, one day at a time. Sounds cliche I'm sure but for anyone who has ever tried to lose weight/change their body composition, patience is very often a lost virtue."

Amen to this! I've never realized it, but I think in a whole day format. If I have one meal that is unplanned (like last night I had a subway 6 inch turkey breast on 9-Grain bread instead of their salad because I just wanted the carbs damnit lol), my mentality is always, "Well I blew this DAY. May as well eat off plan the rest of the day." I always, always, always think in DAY format. Nic's note made me realize that it's not the whole day that counts, it's every little meal you have that adds up to that whole day. Ya, your calories may be over for the day, but by just letting that one meal be unplanned instead of meals 4, 5, and 6, you're doing yourself a favor mentally and physcially.

Mentally because, I know that at least for me, when I get done with my meals for the whole day and if I've been off plan for 3 of the 6, I beat myself up over it. I know that I could have stopped and had planned meals for 5 and 6 but didn't because I said, "This day is shot! May as well keep it up." I then procede to ask myself over and over, why did I do this? I didn't really want those food choices. Physcially because, well the obvious: calorie deficiet for the day is a goner.

And I've begun to notice that processed foods are really affecting my gut. After I ate that sandwich last night I blew up like a balloon! Sorry if this is a little TMI, but I got gas too! I came home and figured out the nutrition facts, and while they weren't that bad at all, the processed shit in that bread was enough to make your stomach turn! High-fructose corn syrup, caramel color, and it's not even whole wheat! Tricky, tricky Subway! I don't even want to know what is really in their turkey meat and how much sodium I sucked down.

And on that note, I'm proud to say that today has been an excellent day...despite awful back pain and TOM cramps. I rested today because it's been about two weeks since my last rest day and my body is just exhausted. It's been sore from workouts almost every day for the past two weeks and this rest day felt great! I think just about all my soreness is gone and just in time for my upper and lower body training tomorrow to make it sore all over again! haha I'm debating on resting Sunday which is my usual rest day because I get up at 6am for church and I'm pooped all day from getting up so early (because I usually can't fall asleep til 1am or later). We'll see how the back is feeling and how antsy I am for some Billy time come Sunday.

Speaking of sleep, I'm highly convinced those 5-HTP pills are God's gift to man! I've been taking roughly 200-300mg before bed for the past two nights and I get nice and relaxed within an hour of taking them and fall asleep quickly. I then sleep like a baby and feel so rested in the morning!

Wrap up for the day:
MEALS: LOW and ON
CARDIO: OFF
TRAINING: OFF

M1: Thomas Light Eng Muffin, EW, ff slice cheese, Bethany Frankel’s LF Fudge Muffin; coffee/stevia/almond milk
M2: 4 choc. espresso beans, Primal Teriyaki strip; instant oats, BSN LD, EW, cashew butter; Sonic diet cherry limeaid (these are another of God's gift to the dieting man!)
M3: Hungry Girl's Chix Low Mein: 1 bag tofu noodles, 4oz chix, 1/4 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp garlic, 85g snap peas, 2oz carrots, Splenda pkt, 1/8c chix broth, 1TB soy sauce, 3/4 tsp cornstarch
M4: TBD

What Happened This Week!?

So tomorrow is Friday and I realized that 4/5 days of this week have been chalked up as "off" days. Good news is that I didn't do anything stupid like binge eat and say, "To hell with this!", and feed my face like I used to. I had smart choices. And I know I can wish for my transformation from crazy binge eater/no control to cool/calm/collected eater to be instantaneous, but let's face the facts. That won't happen. As Billy says, "You may stumble along the way but then you reach that curve and you start cruising. And when you're cruising, you're moving."

I did set up a 12 week goal for myself which I started on January 18th. So this Sunday I'll be 10 weeks out. I haven't decided how intense I'll take it, but those of you who did the SOS competition diet know how crazy it gets! I'll have you know that to this day I'm scarred for life of eating broccoli or green beans with just chix. My gag reflex kicks in just thinking about it! Luckily I have the time to prepare veggies in main dishes now and I'm getting my whole family to eat them!

I haven't been on the scale in a week and don't want to get on it until next Wednesday (the day I do my normal weekly weigh-ins). I've been PMSing incredibly bad for the past week, week and a half despite the fact that I haven't gotten my cycle! Not like that's news for me. But the fact that I did all this leg work and then don't get it!? That ticks me off! lol I also know I'm holding a good amount of water weight because of the extra food I've eaten the past 4 days.

I have no idea what else I was going to say, I'm actually getting tired (yay!) and forgot. I do know that I have two more days this week to end on a positive note and I'm going to strive to do just that.

Tomorrow is finally a rest day! I haven't had one in almost two weeks! My body is exhausted and constantly sore. I can't wait for the lazy day!

Head In The Clouds

Wow it's early....or it was at 7am! It would have been even earlier if I would have gotten up at 6am like I should have. I planned out my whole day and meals last night, thinking that if I got up at 7am I could workout around 8:15am and be ready to head out of the house by 11:45am. Negative. I ended up realizing at 8:15am that, "Crap!", I have to go workout now so I can shower, eat a post-cardio meal, and get ready to leave by 11:45am! So I had to do a quick 30 minute Tae Bo workout on a full belly--only 15 minutes after finishing breakfast! Yucky! Luckily my pre-cardio meal wasn't too heavy.

Luckily I fell asleep pretty quickly last night and slept great until 3am. Then I woke up wide awake. Like, "Let's get up, it's morning!", awake. Crazy. I was also starving! My tummy was even growling. I was quite tempted to go eat one of those amazing butterscotch cookies but then I thought, do I really want one? I had freakin' 4 of them last night! I could pretty much still remember what it tasted like and it's not like they're going to be gone soon (she made like 30+ of them). Plus, Mom has the recipe and I bet I could clean it up and sub some applesauce for the oil/butter and Splenda Granular for the sugar so it wouldn't be so awful for you. Hmm..I'll have to work on that ;o)

Anyways, so I decided that no, I really didn't want one or need one. I was going to try and just let the hunger pass but it got bad. So I settled for a Balance bar that I had in my room. I keep them in the mini fridge I have in my room (I won it at my Senior All Night Grad. Party--why waste it? lol). So I ate the bar, played some solitaire on my Nintendo DS (it's pink of course!) and then went back to sleep like 30 minutes later. And I slept great until my alarm went off at 7am. I really wanted to turn it off and go back to bed until 10am but figured that sitting 3 1/2 hours at the theater today would make my back hurt so bad that I needed to loosen it up before going.

My BFF and I are going to see Legally Blonde at the Fox this afternoon. I'm really worried about the sitting for 3.5 hours because as I'm sitting here now, my back is already hurting bad! I see my arthroscopic surgeon February 9th but I'm really worried about what she's going to suggest. The pain got really bad last night. I got shooting sharp pains through my left hip and leg any time I moved. It only lasted about 15 minutes but I know when I get that pain or a tingling that nerves are getting involved. The only thing I can do right now is pray and take pills. What a combination haha

Here's a wrap up of the day....at 10am haha:

Cardio: ON- Tae Bo Cardio Bootcamp Live with the black bands (wow did I feel the burn with already sore triceps and hami's from Tuesday's weight workout!)
Training: OFF
Meals: LOW (yesterday was over because of the cookies, but lord they were good!)

Pre-cardio: EW, shredded ff cheese, Thomas Light Eng Muffin, New Hope Mills orange cran. muffin; tea w/ glutamine
CARDIO
Post-Cardio: Essential Nutr whey, stevia, banana, coffee, glutamine
M1: 1/2 Supreme Protein bar
M2: instant oats, BSN LD
M3: Subway turkey breast salad with Kraft FF Italian dressing pkt; Bethany Frankle’s LF Fudge muffin
M4: BSN LD, EW, almonds

I really liked the daily tip on the Tae Bo boards this morning: "Be all that YOU can be, not what you think everyone wants you to be."